Meander 1. So I'm sitting here on the webcam and it feels l..
Added 2024-04-26 23:35:29 +0000 UTCMeander 1.
So I'm sitting here on the webcam and it feels like nothing. its so easy to just be. Random people I will likely never meet, maybe my neighbor, the anonymity is strong. They watch and I do whatever it is I do. Some days I quest for a porno voice; an idol, a muse. Someone to follow and model off of. A set of behaviours I wish to see in myself.
But I don't have heroes, I just try to be the thing that scares me. I'm shy so I play a clown. I was afraid of bullies so I learned to fight. I wanted to help people so I became a paramedic. I wanted people to feel safe so I taught martial arts. I didn't like my body, so I put it on display.
I though if I felt enough shame I would get back into shape. then the most delightful thing happened, I developed fans.
Not sure how long I'll stay on, but having an audience while I write is sort of enthralling
