Do I blow and drive? That is the question. I'd answer you, b..

Do I blow and drive? That is the question. I'd answer you, but I have a cock in my mouth. Several people wanted to know the answer to that. Yes, yes, I do. Sometimes I go driving with guys just to suck dick while driving. Did I suck dick during Jeep Week while I was driving? I did. Once, but once is all you need. I sucked the surfer dude's dick on the way back to the Hard Rock. He had to drive around while I finished him off, but after about ten minutes, I felt his slimy sperm slipping down my throat, coating it so I would have to clear my throat for the next hour or two. That's the thing about sucking dick to the finish and eating the jizz fresh from a guy's testicles. It applies to my throat, and I will often be clearing my throat for an hour or two afterward. Every time I do, I can taste it like the entire load is still in my mouth, swishing around my tongue. I'm complaining. I have often drank a man's sperm so that I could masturbate to tasting it afterward. Anyway, I am getting too technical on this question, like it's a physic equation. It's not. Put dick in mouth, do things to it with your tongue, feel jizz shoot in your mouth, drink jizz down and enjoy. It's really that simple. Now you know the answer! The "Look at me! Look at me! Look at what I'm doing" mentality is getting my BP up. An up-and-coming self-proclaimed "porn star" who has never shot a porn other than a solo video with her phone camera on a tripod is telling me how she is perfecting her online presence talent. She says she can teach me how to be like her. She has 7500 followers on Twitter. 17K on Instagram. The only thing she will teach me is how to be a dumbass. The mind-boggling stupid dances are bad enough, but she and those like her who lip-sync silly sayings have a special place in the moron department. They think it's a talent/skill. No, it's not. A skill is putting pavers down level. A talent is putting said pavers down level without a level. Lip syncing a stupid phrase someone else thought up is what morons do, mainly because they are too fogged in the head to think of anything on their own. Especially the inspirational ones. They make me gag and make strange faces. People who spew these things are probably great. That is if you never get to know them. Someone told me the internet is a fantastic place to lip-sync your inspirational quotes the other day. I beg to differ. An excellent place to put that shit is up your ass where it belongs. Like I told someone the other day, "Your inspirational lip-sync quotes have inspired me to block you on Twitter." I may be a little harsh here. I don't need inspirational quotes. I see a problem. I figure it out and put it behind me or find a suitable workaround. Life carries on. I wake up breathing the next day, so everything isn't that bad. I don't need a cheerleading squad to get that done. Whoops, I just gave you my version of an inspirational quote. I don't know. Mine seems more rooted in reality, but we are all different, so I should just shut up about it. Okay. I have an inspirational quote for you. Make your goals completely impossible to achieve. That way, when you fail miserably at accomplishing them, you won't be upset. My impossible goal is learning to keep my mouth shut.