Here's a masturbation video. Pretend I'm sexting with you af..

Here's a masturbation video. Pretend I'm sexting with you after matching with you on Tinder. I know. What the fuck am I talking about? Here's some context. I'm sexting with a guy I found on Tinder. He's hot. He's 34. It's like pulling teeth to set something up. He asked me to send him something sexy. So I sent him a short video of my jerking my clit off. I figured that should seal the deal. He sent this back. "Wow that is a bit over the top." I wasn't expecting that. I thought he would finally send me a video of him pumping his dick until it tossed its sperm. Nope. I got the "over the top" thing. Look, this guy is dealing with girls. Girls send nudes. Women send masturbation videos. It's that simple. I'm ghosting him. He's not ready for me. Regular chicks will hurt him. I'll end up taking him out. I'm just saying. I was hanging out with some porn people again today. One is preggo, which would be fine if it wasn't a porn baby. It's a porn baby. What's a porn baby? When a chick shoots porn, and one of the dudes knocks you up. Porn baby. It's really that simple. Probably not a great way to get knocked up. I wouldn't recommend it. Sounds hot, though. Still, as I stated before, some of these chicks don't have antennas that pick up all the channels. She was complaining he didn't pull out. I said yes, he did... after he nutted inside you. Then he pulled out. She had to think about that, and I don't think she ever really got it. Anyway, congrats to her and whoever the porn dude is that pumped one in her. Why does that sound hot to me? I'm genuinely one fucked up MILF. What is with people who keep saying they are "Taking shit to a new level?" Seriously. What are they shitting themselves and then getting in an elevator? Why do I concern myself about this? I don't know. It is just one of life's hangnails for me. I like when couples fight in public. Especially if it's over something good like infidelity. I just wish they would quit whispering, and would it kill them to include some backstory?