



Voting day is tomorrow. It should be interesting. Either way, there will be a lot of butt-hurt people walking around shortly. My butt hurts, but that's because it had two dicks in it. One was reasonably fat. That's my excuse. Some greasy kid who needed a shower walked up to me and said, "I have finally met my soulmate" I said, "I didn't." It took him a minute, and then he laughed. I did not. He said he would be right back, that he had to make a phone call. I never saw him again. Wonder why not? I'm not a pick-up line person. Just say hi. If you're nice, I'll talk to you all night long. That works best for me. Did you ever wonder why Tarzan doesn't have a beard? I'm just saying. I spend a lot of time spinning around Twitter looking for that magical porn pic or video that will make my chair wet. I should really wear something when I'm doing it. Anyway, I run across tons of ding dongs who think they are, without a doubt, the smartest person in the room. They aren't. Ironically, they are too dumb to know that. Honestly, after watching some of these folks, I think I understand why some animals eat their offspring before they can breed. I'm just saying. I did a Joe Rogan podcast for the first time today. I mean, it was alright, but it didn't live up to the hype. I found myself wandering. Maybe he was just having an off podcast day. Actually, this is the first and only podcast I have ever experienced. I wanted it to be all that. Maybe another one will be. Is it something I would do again? Probably, but not if I had something else to do. Does that make sense? I feel like they give these storm news conferences for everyone but those who actually live here and are from here or have lived here for a while. Look, I said it before, if you live in a house that is built on stilts, then you pretty much knew it was a matter of time before your house floated away. That's on you. Bon voyage motherfucker. If you could afford that house...surely you could afford the insurance. I can afford it, and I'm anything but rich, and I don't own a mansion, more like a storage unit. Nah, it's not that bad. 1500 square feet. One hundred fifty yards from the ocean. But it was a 1945 block build, elevated, and survived over 20 named storms. It ain't going anywhere, and even if it does...I won't be left empty-handed with my hands out due to a lack of insurance. I don't know, though. Insurance is getting out of control here in FL, so maybe next year I'll be one of the people sucking off FEMA's tit.