What do I want for Christmas? A big fat dick. That's right. ..

What do I want for Christmas? A big fat dick. That's right. I know it sounds super porny and a bit pandering, but I'm not changing my mind. Even if I woke up and it was attached to me...I'd be happy with that. I'd play with it forever. I'd stick it in anyone who would let me. I'd rather it just be a guy who had to fuck me exactly how I desired to be fucked. I kind of would want to be a slave to dick. It would make me make terrible decisions. There is nothing hotter than making a horrible decision so that I could get a cock in my guts. Nothing is better than feeling a huge fat dick inside me, stretching and moving my innards around, making it hard to breathe, after dumping my boyfriend at the bar to go home with a strange dick. Even the ride back home, leaking sperm and wondering what my boyfriend is thinking, is gut-wrenching but exhilarating at the same time. I don't know why it is, but I can't fight it, so I do it. So, if I could get one of those bad decision dicks full-time for Christmas...I'm good. Not sure my boyfriend would be super happy about that, but I don't think my pussy is too worried about his feelings. On the subject of Christmas gifts, let me rant on that. Who the fuck buys $1000 pair of shoes or asks for them? They end up in the dirt just like my $29.99 ones do, and honestly, the $29.99 ones can go through a swamp and be just fine. Spray em off with a hose, and you're good to go. Those $ 1000 pieces of shit shoes hit a puddle, and it is over. Think about this, why does anyone need a $2000 bag? Honestly, what's the reason? I can tell you. It's "Look at me! Look at me! I'm top-shelf!" The only thing top shelf about you is that you are a top-shelf fucktard. My $19.99 Marshall's bag not only looks better, but I can also smack people with it, and if it breaks...I'll get another one. Same thing with $200K cars that can't go over a speed bump. Could I buy one? Cash? Not even close. Credit? Sure, I probably could. My credit is top-shelf, but that's because I don't buy any of the dumb shit above. Kids. No, you aren't getting a $1200 phone. Here's your $49.99 prepay. Run out of minutes. It's on you. No, overpriced game systems. Here's a compound bow. Go out back and terrify the neighbors. Try not to hit their dogs. I don't know. Everyone wants expensive shit because everyone else has expensive shit. I don't, though. I have Walmart-priced shit. Which, in its own right, is getting expensive as hell these days. What is the best gift one could possibly give me? A massively large winning lottery ticket. Besides that, though, no gift cards but just a card that says, "I'm taking you to dinner so we can spend time shooting the shit." That is a winner on all counts.