Russell passed yesterday. He was at home. Today he will be b..
Added 2022-06-20 15:05:11 +0000 UTCRussell passed yesterday. He was at home. Today he will be buried in a plot of land outside. Rest easy my sweet prince 2007-2022. š¤
I donāt know what to say properly; nothing feels enough. I just love him so much š I wish there was more I could have done. My heart breaks. I feel nauseated. Pet loss is the absolute worst and if youāve experienced it too Iām so sorry.
Grief is a strange process. It pains me how quickly and aggressively the disease deteriorated him. I knew he had cancer for the past year and his end would come eventually, but to say I was not prepared for how fast it happened is an understatement.
I read the Tibetan book of the dead to my buddy so he could have a safe passage into the next dimension. Where are you, buddy? His essence is a place of love and when I think of him it is only wonderful thoughts.
The thought of him being in discomfort and agony tormented me in the past week. I did no work, I could not work at all, I wasnāt able to focus or concentrate or be functional. All of my efforts were on making him feel at ease in his final days. I gave him pain meds and cuddles and comfort and love. Even so, itās not enough. He is gone. It brings me a sense of peace that he is relieved from lifeās suffering. Russell would want me to move on and grieve properly and never forget him. He is, to me, eternal. My Cyber Castle immersive art experience is coming next month and it feels demented that his life ended when a new life of mine and genesis of my art is beginning. I know he wants me to be successful, do my work, stay true to my vision, be compassionate, be stronger than my depression and take care of myself and loved ones like I took care of him.
Russell loved to watch tv with me. He would greet me with meow-meows. He gnawed on my little trees. When I was sad or unwell he lay on my belly. A true emotional support animal. I will miss his cuddles and his purrs and his snores when he snoozed next to me. Heād often photo bomb my pics, my ākitties and tittiesā. He is many framed photos around my house. He was soft and plushy. Over a decade of memories.
He was the dad and the leader of my cat family. Russell was the best cat. Now there is one less. The house is gonna be emptier without you buddy. He is survived by Carl, Biscuit, and Little cat. They grieve too, they can feel it, they react. Animals are such tender and sensitive creatures. Little creatures. Their lives so fragile. The love they give is endless and unconditional.
Russell had an excellent quality of life. He was so very loved. He will be in nature where there is sun and spring and green forever š³ May Russellās voyage be a joyful and enlightening one, as he brought joy to everyone who met him.
As for my presence and activity here, please give me time and space and be patient with me. Iāll respond and resume when I can. Even when my covid hospitalization happened, I was back to work quickly because my own pain and trauma I can brush off. The loss of a pet is something completely different. Feel like I got hit by a bus. My buddy. Iām in such disbelief. Iām heartbroken. My Russell. I love you forever š¤
