Topless crafty video and long winded emo writing. I was a bi..

Topless crafty video and long winded emo writing. I was a bit hesitant to post this, but I also feel like this gives context to how unusually depressed and low energy I’ve seemed lately. You can skip if you don’t like the emo shit and just want the fantasy. I’ll post nudes today too 💘

Here is my 1hr long video set from the post I made yesterday. It’s kind of bubbly, kind of dark. I guess it is a fucked up coincidence that I’m posting it on World Singles Day because I am single now after a painful breakup. :( I don’t even know how to really address this, and while I don’t talk about my personal life online/on social media pretty much ever, I will make this one post to get it off my chest because it has been affecting all areas of my life: from feelings of guilt and sadness, to the way I go about my day, to my ability to perform.

Anyway you can watch the video for context and a deep dive of what was supposed to be just a small, “building the kitty cat Parthenon” video. I talk about some of my art here, and how my film festival and Cyberhorny stuff is progressing. So much more to cum on that front in 2023 and the next few months 👀

While I’m excited about my travels and art and Nastya-ness, I’m broken about the loss of my relationship. It was one of the best relationships I’ve ever had, I will honestly treasure it forever, but it got messy towards the end and our pathways diverged. It’s extremely sad, something coming to an end. It cracks you open. When you try to avoid the pain, it creates greater pain. It’s very hard to let go, on both sides. I really wish it didn’t have to be this way, but it’s happening. I can’t even believe it. I’ve been with my bf for over a year, I still love and care for him greatly and always will, but at the end of the day we were just not fulfilling each other’s needs and I no longer saw a future together. I exuded uncertainty and confusion. I feel a bit villainized, like I’m greedy and selfish. Perhaps I am. Maybe I am a she-devil, a dirty whore. For the first time since starting a career in SW I was made to feel shamed about what I do by a person who wanted me to have a “normal career” “not an unstable one with ups and downs” after having been supportive of me on here initially. I don’t even have the heart to write about these statements, I’m still processing, but I’ll be okay. I can’t care about what others think of me right now. I’m trying to rise above and move on graciously. Just to clarify, I don’t want to be intimate with another man right now. Self care is a priority, and that includes doing what I’m passionate about like art, music, and yes, this OF.

Incidentally, my favorite sex store/brand is… having a “singles day” sale, which is morosely appropriate 🫠 I might do a campaign for some new toys, or you can tip here if you’d like to treat me and get some naughty surprise content in return. It’s $169 total. I posted it on my story too. No pressure of course cause it’s not a life necessity, but I would really enjoy it 💕

Although maybe now that I’m writing this i can’t decide if I’ve overshared too crudely, or if this is okay to post. This is after all my page and I am allowed to post how I feel. Maybe I am overreacting or over dramatic but in my heart I feel overwhelmed. I may delete this later, I’m not sure, but I feel intuitively called to let you guys know what has been happening.

Thank you if you’ve read and thank you for always being respectful of me, along with my art, boundaries, privacy, sexuality, and humanity 💘